dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
