margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
