RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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