I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
the room spins SO much faster in panama
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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