Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
