I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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