I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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