Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Randomize
