We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
