Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
