I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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