Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize