Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
high people should be assigned attendants
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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