dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize