We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
