I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
