hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
We are two peas in an std pod
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
