Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize