You smell like stripper and shame
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
