What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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