One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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