Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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