I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
