she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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