I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
