She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
tonight lets celebrate not being married
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Randomize
