Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
