i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
