We won't sleep together?
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
