I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
