you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
