Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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