Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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