after a month anything with tits is on the radar
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize