Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
