i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
