i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
