hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
