Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
