i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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