This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
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