You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
