What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
