i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
