Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
