I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
