Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
