We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
