do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
