Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
