apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize