I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
