i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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