Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
there was a trapeze. enough said
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
