am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
