he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
This toilet bowl is my home.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
