forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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