dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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