HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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