god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
