my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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