I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
