i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize