Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
