YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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