By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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