so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
