i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
