I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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