someone get that fucking seahorse.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
porn star boner night. come get it.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
