David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
