I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
