what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
