If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
NoShamevember. You game?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
