dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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