I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
