woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
