He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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