if you like me you must not know who I am
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
